Loving-Kindness Exercise

Initially, doing this assignment was a little difficult, because the person on the mp3 didn't give a lot of direction on what to think about.  So I did my best, and let my thoughts go where they would.  I immediately thought about someone who I love, but who has really hurt me.  While thinking about my feelings of loving kindness, I was able to feel those feelings, however anger was there.  That anger has been very difficult to let go of, and has been poisoning my mind.  I didn't seek to let go of that anger, because I have been unable to do so on my own.  I realize that the anger is there as a shield to prevent future harm.  As I listened further to the recording, I was able to have compassion for that person, thinking about how my anger, and other people's anger towards them has caused them suffering.  I also thought about how anger doesn't change anything, unless I allow it to move me away from the person.  I think that sometimes anger is there to motivate us to do something to protect ourselves, and is therefore a good thing.  However, lingering anger is not a good thing.  I realize that anger and the thoughts I have been having just makes me miserable.  After doing the exercise, I feel more hope and have more faith in loving-kindness.  Honestly, I don't think our society encourages loving-kindness enough.  I think that our society encourages us to act on our anger and get rid of people who hurt us.  That is my view.  However, we all need loving-kindness.  When the exercise asked us to expand our thoughts to strangers, I immediately thought about a co-worker who I've had some conflict with.  It was easier to see her suffering.  I don't know what she suffers from, but I do know that she has a lot of drama in her life, which extends to others around her in her work environment.  This helps me to not be angry towards her for her attitudes towards me.  Having loving-kindness helps me to have more understanding and let go of whatever grievances I might have had towards her, or may eventually experience in future dealings.  I honestly believe that people who hurt the most, have been hurt the most.  This was a good exercise to help put things in perspective.